For me, learning to move forward in life often means that I will be shaking up the beliefs that reside in my tree of life.
My tree is a place where old beliefs, myths, patterns and cognitive errors live. This tree sprouted the day I was born and everything I have experienced throughout my life has attached itself to this tree. My tree bears scares and wounds and has places where branches had to diverge and at times grow around obstacles.
Starting this blog has rattled my tree. Some of you may wonder and ask why.
Growing up I was repeatedly told that home is the safe place and “the world” is a very dangerous place and I could trust no one. This was told to me over and over again to the point where I believed it. I now know that this is very false and almost always told to children that grow up in situations like mine. This way those who harm us have control and are protected as we, the children, are too terrified to go tell anyone or reach out for help.
So, as an adult I know this to be false, but somewhere inside me there is a little concern that reaching out into the world will put me in danger. I have worked through this cognitive error in the last couple of days and I am happy to say my tree has stopped shaking.
I see this concern/belief as a leaf on my tree. I have many leafs on my tree, for it’s a very large and wondrous tree. And like a tree in real life, leaves help the tree to grow.
Each of the persona's/emotional states that I created to keep me alive is the trees heartwood. It has allowed me to bend to the wind and grow strong towards the light. The cognitive errors and old beliefs are the leaves of this wonderful tree, they have nourished me the best they could and when no longer needed fall softly and silently to the ground, to decay and feed the tree once more. Some slowly fade and others go out in a blaze of colour
With the hard frost we had last night I noticed some trees have dropped their leaves all at once, others tenaciously hang on for dear life.
The next time you go for a walk or drive around, notice the trees around you. Notice how they differ and how they are the same. What stage are they at? Are they just beginning or have they been here for many life times? Do they grow straight, or bend and curve with the winds?
What does your tree of life look like? I suggest you find out and honor it.
Until next time,
Cheers and be well