There is No Perfect Offering

There is No Perfect Offering

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

I Am Happy To Be Just Sick




You may read the above statement and think “what the hell is she talking about”, who is happy to be sick. The fact is I am happy because I was “Just Sick”. Let me explain….

For the last three or four weeks I have been fighting the cold bug from Hell. It came to visit me and liked me so much it called all its friends and family to come stay with them. They invaded my head, sinus and lungs. They had a great time partying and would not leave until they were good and ready, no matter what I wanted. My head and lungs hurt and I was tired and slept and rested a lot. I was not able to play ringette and had to pull back from other activities. I am starting to feel better and get back into activities; I am still tired but that to will also go in time.

So, why am I happy to be just sick- well, because that’s all it was, being sick. It was caused by some germs and viruses that was it. I  could take something to help alleviate the symptoms and felt like crap, but with  sleep and rest and time it would pass.

This was not a time where I had to reprocess something form the past. I did not get discombobulated and loose chunks of time, or have horrible body memories, or feel like someone had reached down to the very soul of my being, grab it and ripped it out. I did not feel like I had tons of tiny cuts on my skin and then thrown into a vat of salt brine and sting all over. I did not have horrible flashbacks where I woke up trembling, soaked in sweat and my heart racing and not know if I was in the past or in the present. I did not need to go back down into the abyss of hell and re visit and re process  my past.

I was so tired and sick I went from the bed, to the couch to the bed and back and forth. I was too sick to read and could not watch TV for long. So, I spent a lot of time in bed and sleeping and resting. I did know where I was; I was in my home, I knew and felt I was safe. This meant that when I heard someone in the house I knew it was my husband and not some abuser from my past. Because I felt safe- which is different than knowing you are safe-  I was able to relax and allow the body to use the energy it had to healing me, instead of the body using its energy to  stay awake  and on hyper alert.

Yes, I had the cold bug from Hell, but compared to the other stuff, I will take it any time.

Those are my thoughts for the day…
Hope you all stay “bug free”

Suzy

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