Reality Check

This afternoon I spent a couple of hours going through old journals looking for favorite quotes. If I find a quote I like I often put them in my journal. I know it would be easier to put them in one book, but I have tried that and all that would result is a book, -actual many of them- with a few quotes in them and then I would forget I have the book to put them in, and end up putting them in my journal that I was using at the time.  I was looking for these quotes because I am starting a file on my computer so they would all be in one place.

As I was doing this a few things occurred to me.

1-      That I have written a lot and have a lot of journals

2-      That I have come a long way

3-      That I really do have many different forms of hand writing in my journals.

While I have known that I have different forms of hand writing, I guess I didn’t realize how many different forms of handwriting. I also think that now that I am more “together”- now that most if not all my parts are working together- I am able to see more of the whole picture. As opposed to the past where the parts were not working together and I could only see “bits or slices” of the past, and present.   

It was with fascination that I saw writing in my journals as block letters-where they are all capitals, very small printing, cursive script in different sizes and styles, block letters in different sizes, kid’s writing- meaning very primitive like a little kids when they first learn to write. Some printing/writing is  very tiny and neat, others big and sloppy. I have used different writing implements, pens, pencils, crayons etc… It was also interesting because a lot of what I was reading I don’t remember writing. It’s as if I was reading something for the very first time, just like when one opens a new book- an adventure and the unknown awaits you and the possibilities of discoveries are there.

I have a lot of journals. Lots of adventures and discoveries are written on those pages. Different forms/styles of art work from many different ages. I guess you can say there are many different points of view in these books. There are writings about   good times and bad times, hospital admittances on the pshy ward, life’s struggles and disappointments and great moments of growth and epiphanies.  

This morning I woke up and was feeling pretty good. For the most part I had recovered from my weekend away with the ringette team. As I had mentioned in the last post, it would take longer for my “brain energy” to recover then my muscles, and sure enough I was right. I was finally feeling back to myself and on a level plain this morning. I managed to get some errands done and did not feel exhausted after.  It is on days like this that my illness is not “up front and personal”. That could be why what I saw in my journals today was a bit of a reality check.

I do plan on writing my memoirs. My journals are full of treasures from “everyone’s point of view” and their stories are full of wisdom and can teach us much. Right now their stories may be scattered through my many journals, but like my collection of quotes, one day we will all be on the same page.

Those are my thoughts for today.

Until next time

Cheers and be well